What was I thinking.

Fix You - Cover by Cold Play.
*Forgive me; forgot some lyrics & went pitchy for a sec or two.
Camera framing, not the very best too- but I was tired of doing takes.

"Happiness is found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
Thanks Huishia (L). Love you to bits. But it's tough to find the light switch.

"its a females prerogative to get mad and say silly things. its the guys job to take it not be so easily moved by it you know..[she] said that to me tons of times in the heat of arguments. she never meant it. we both knew that" -Samuel L. If only every guy has this mentality.

Truth be told, nobody can handle the whole truth.
 It really sucks to force myself to flick the switch off again & not care about anything in the world again. Lol. I'm half way there. Always asking myself; what's the point? What's the point of eating when you're just gonna get hungry again? What's the point of running to the shelter to stay dry? I'm like in a constant daze everywhere I go. Lol lol.
Somehow or another, despite all this, I'm so much more empathetic to the people around me. People I never used to help, I keep an open eye for now. I feel like I'm obliged to help them because I understand pain and hurt so much better. Like.. they don't need this too- one person suffering is bad enough.
It's so pretentious, flipping the switch off-  & you always feel like you're not good enough for anything. But is that not the only way of self preservation? You've gotta do what you've gotta do. I can't keep letting people around me feel worried because I'm not smiley-me anymore. I can't let them look out for me all the time. I can't be so selfish. Life shall go back to the way it was about a year ago.
So if you'd excuse me, Imma hide behind the silent tears of unicorns, rainbows, pretty colours & butterflies now.


1 comment:

danyeow said...

helloo manda! remember BE STRONG! you'll get through this. i'm here if you need to talk or whatever ya :D